First ever Blog post - Woohoo!

Yes, i said "WOOHOO!" For i have often thought to myself in moments when unusual stuff happens "Heyyy, *Queue metaphor in the form of a hovering lightbulb* I should remember this situation and explain it to people because it might make them slightly more entertained than before they got it explained to them", however, I found I never bothered unless i remembered to tell someone it mid conversation, but i find i can't be arsed repeating myself time after time, so if I told one person about said occurence, I'd never bother telling anyone else. Slight stream of consciousness there, but I think I know what I'm on about. (Mental note, must remember to put caps locks on when typing "I" in reference to myself, as this is NOT MICROSOFT WORD.)

So within just a few minutes of being here, I've already discovered that Microsoft word is making people lazy by "Caps locking" their "I's" for them. Another point on the subject of English Language, (If you can call it language) is texting. It takes me about three times longer to read a text written "Lyk dis, wel shrt hnd w/ no vowls in it" than it does to read proper writing. I can only think of a few reasons why people would write like this. The first being that they're retarded, the second is that their friend is retarded and can't read plain english, third is that its phonetic and they actually talk like that, another one is so they type faster (when i try to do it, i have to actually think about how i could make the word shorter, it must come naturally to delinquents!)

Anyway enough ranting about texting. I can never be arsed texting. You see people out and about who don't stop texting, i was on the bus the other day and this lass was tapping at her keypad like there was no tomorrow, it was like she was competing she was going that fast, and i was mesmerised. I think she might have though that i was a either a thief or a pest though, as i was looking at her phone for a long time. I hope she never saw the trance induced dribble going down my chin, because then she probably would have vouched for the latter option of me being a pest. A good old fashioned phone call, for me, is far more entertaining than 5 hours of thumb workouts. Heck, i'm that old fashioned in my contacting ways, i might even buy a pigeon. Or learn smoke signals. Apachi chief, EE NAY CHUCK!

Anyway, i think what people do on blogs is write about their thoughts, and how they're days went and stuff like that. Usual kind of stuff happened today, met Jas in town for a bit before college, popped into work and found out i was working on the evening (why can't they tell me these things! A SIMPLE TEXT IS ALL THAT'S REQUIRED!) I was a tad hungry, so went to the bakery. Jas got a pizza slice (How can it be yorkshire pizza, when it's italian?) and i bought a steak bake, a sausage roll, a yum yum and a vanilla slice. I dropped the vanilla slice while it was in it's bag and it made a right mess. Ate it all though, and to say i was full is an understatement. I then went to college. Did about shocking cinema in film studies, and to be honest, none of it's as shocking as i was expecting.

Was walking to the number 3 to get into town after the lesson and bumped into Tanya, and so rode the bus with her. She was off to get her cervical cancer jab. She said she needed to pee, but didn't want to go at the doctors in case she got swine flu, this made me laugh lots. I explained that if the Doctors had swine flu, the last thing you should worry about is contracting it vaginally. Aparently you can get crabs off toilet seats. In clifton we call them Lobsters.

We then reminisced about the Amanda Show, nothing like a bit of daft humour. We came to the conclusion that Courtney was our favourite character. MAAHAAAA.

*Courtney is holding womans tongue*

Woman: Why are you holding my tongue?"

Courtney: It's wet and shiny.


Anyshoe, went to work (subway, bad times) after this conversation, and as i wasn't expecting to work, i didn't have a hair band on me. (Hair band, commonly referred to as a bobble or a scrunchie, but i prefer hair band because it sounds less homosexual). I work at the Subway on Pavement, next to the hat shop (i'm sure it's a tourist destination - tourists luuurrrrve pictures with the hat shop. And the Whip-ma-whop-ma gate sign). So anyway, i thought "Instead of trekking across town to superdrug, where i usually buy my hair bands, i'll try topshop, as it's just round the corner." However, upon entering topshop, i realised that I'd forgotten how many different types of clothing they sell. Most of them would come under "Vile" or "Putrid". I couldn't help thinking to myself "Why would ANYONE wear anything from this shop, let alone pay £daft for it." You'd be far better browsing one of your local charity shops (Goodramgate is full of them) that way you'd look less like every other mindless nonce who goes to topshop, you'd be helping people out, you'd get variation and you'd be able to take part in the "someone might have died in this jumper" game. I myself bought a fleece from oxfam once for a measly £6. I wear it around the house when it's cold, it's halfway between a jumper and a dressing gown, I think it's pretty nifty.

Anyway, Topshop. Midway through my quest for lock-control, i thought "By gum, there sure is a lot of clothes, I'll try the next floor, maybe that floor posesses hair accessories." Apparently this was where topman was, amongst the rest of topshop. I wasn't aiming to go into topman as i didn't think they would have hairbands, but i found myself in it because I didn't realise where the womans part ended and the male part began. I was so dazed and confused. The last resort was to ask a member of staff, but the staff all looked like the customers and i couldn't tell them apart! Outraged, i briskly made my way to superdrug.

Now I've bought hair bands from superdrug before, but i never remembered them being so god damn expensive. I could've paid over 2 pounds for some very flimsy looking ones, or £1.49 for 8 sturdier ones. I opted for 8 sturdy ones, but i couldn't help thinking that I was getting ripped off, but i was in a hurry. £1.49 for some pieces of elastic? I shall shop around next time, and if i can't find cheaper, I'll resort to handicrafts and make my own. Thieving gits. Elastic can't be that expensive.

Usual kind of shift at work, some stupid foreigners, a pissed up ginger bloke who came in twice; the first time, he left because we didn't have any meatballs (this annoyed him) and then he returned half an hour later. Served this other bloke who's eyes were well red, it looked like someone had stabbed his eye sockets and that he should have being in pain. There's a lesson we shoud all not forget: Upon having bleeding eyes, go buy a shite overpriced excuse of a sandwich.

My (sisters) push bike is fucked as well. Has been for ages but it's even more fucked than usual now.

Anyway, think i'll call it a night and go watch DAVE until an unholy time tomorrow morning, which is when i shall fall asleep. Fare thee well, reader!

STAND AND FIGHT!